I've been on antidepressants for a year and a half, and it's time to bring this period of my life to a close. I've decided it's time for me to come off antidepressants.

For the last year and a half, I have been taking a daily 50mg dose of Sertraline, a common antidepressant. But why? How did I get to a point where I believed I needed chemicals to alter my brain in order to be happy?

50mg Sertraline, taken daily, has lifted a cloud from my brain. While I don’t feel 100% at my best, it’s allowed me to embrace my creativity again. I’m able to plan out a full day of work. I can think again. 

But this ability to function doesn’t mean I’m not still depressed. 

Thank you to everyone who has asked me this recently.

It may not seem like much, but it means a lot to me when people ask me this. Not only is it a sign that people are actually interested in me and what I’m doing with my life, but it also makes me think it’s not so ridiculous to call myself “a writer”.

I spent a little time figuring out what the exact point for “a year” should be. But I rapidly decided it wasn’t worth the time. There was no one, single moment when it all "happened". Let's just say "it's been a year".

Apparently, my opinions are interesting and people like to hear them. Why do I find this so strange?

I find it hard to imagine anyone caring about my ideas of what’s going on in my life, and I need to move past that.

I don’t like my smile, and I haven’t done for a long time. But in recent times, I’ve found myself being pushed to acknowledge these feelings, recognise they are unnecessary, and put them behind me.

Since the end of last year, I’ve been on anti-depressants. To be honest, this is what I wanted when I started therapy back in the summer. But a few years ago my attitude would have been very different.