“Better By Far” by Hazel Hayes
With her second book, Hazel Hayes has proven that her first hit was no fluke and cemented herself as a beautifully poetic writer with the skill to cut to the centre of her characters' emotions. And while it might feel at first glance that her second story might be retreading the path of her first, it is soon revealed that this time, she is going far, far deeper.
Following a breakup, Kate and Finn decide to keep sharing their house until the lease runs out in twelve weeks’ time, alternating week by week so that they are occupying the same space but never at the same time.
Practically, the plan makes sense, but coming back each Sunday to a home where Finn has been and gone feels far too much like living with a ghost. Kate lost her mother at a young age and now this fresh grief dredges unhealed sorrows up to the surface, and soon, Kate finds herself adrift in her own subconscious, trapped in the liminal space between loving someone and letting go.
I absolutely loved Hayes' first novel, Out of Love. Her writing is poetic and beautiful without falling into the trap many similar writers make of allowing the language to take priority over the story or the characters. And with Better By Far, she has proven it was no fluke.
Once again, I was swept away by her writing and the story she tells. She has the gift of making the reader feel they are sharing her protagonist's experiences and emotions rather than just depicting them. Even when Kate's emotions feel over-the-top or disproportional to the situation, it feels real. Emotional responses are not always rational, and Hayes not only understands this but has the gift to be able to portray it.
But don't be fooled by the synopsis and opening chapters of this book. It is not, as it may seem at first, simply another book about a breakup. It's set up that way, with Kate fighting to deal with coming out of an unhealthy relationship. But it soon becomes clear that all of Kate's turmoil has very little to do with her breakup and everything to do with her unresolved emotions over the death of her mother.
Better by Far is a story about loss. Specifically, what happens when, for whatever reason, you have been unable to process and work through that loss. Kate, our protagonist, lost her mother in an accident at age nine and has never processed her grief, leading to a life where she's never been able to hold a healthy relationship because she can't bear the thought of being alone.
I do have a couple of criticisms of the book. One is perhaps a pet peeve; I never like it when a protagonist is too autobiographical, and writing about writing always feels pretentious. When Kate is a writer, and the way her career is described is so obviously taken from Hayes' own life - or at least a fictionalised version - that it dragged me out of the story.
My other complaint is that it takes a little too long to reach the point where Kate realises that her issues are about her mother's death and how her family dealt with it. By the halfway point, I felt this point was obvious, and waiting for Kate to make the same connection felt like it took just that little bit too long. After a certain point, Kate being so hung up on her ex made her... well, "unlikeable" isn't the right word, as I never stopped liking or sympathising with her. I think perhaps "frustrating" is a better fit.
But once you push through this slight bump, the ending is an emotional gut punch. Hayes' spot-on writing creates a final third that was just impossible to put down, as Kate finally finds herself in a place where she can begin to process the loss she's been fighting rather than processing all her adult life.
Better By Far is an absolutely wonderful story about how loss is often far deeper than what we can see at first glance, and one I very much recommend if you like raw, emotional storytelling. Hayes' writing is poetic and poignant, and she has the ability to create characters that would be frustrating if it weren't for her ability to put us in the centre of their experience.
