I’ve Been Abandoned By My “Best Friend”
Never before in history has there been such betrayal!
This is Andy.
Andy is my best friend. He was the best man at my wedding. I love him like a brother. We've known each other for almost two decades. I'll always be there when he needs me, and I've always known he'd do the same for me.
He's also a bastard who abandons his friends to flee the country!
Andy and I met in the first few weeks of university. We didn't become friends until I got to know him through a mutual friend in my second year. It wasn't until the start of the third year, when we ended up living about 100 yards from each other, that our friendship really formed.
(Or so I thought until his recent betrayal broke my heart...)
I can actually remember the night we really bonded for the first time. We were all at a house party of some mutual friends. They were part of a band, and as we'd got drunk, the guitars had come out, and we were singing along to all the songs you sing when you're all 20-year-old and drunk with friends.
When the group began a rendition of Wonderboy by Tenacious D, only Andy and I knew all the words, and so it became a drunken duet.
Since then, we've remained close (or so I thought). When one of us moved, the other would be carrying boxes. We joined the same theatre group. We created LARP characters together so we could hang out at events. As I had a car, I would always pick him up and give him lifts if we were going to the same places. I was there for him during breakups. He was stood by my side on my wedding day. He's one of a very select number of people I regularly and happily have long phone conversations with. He's someone I can sit with in silence for hours without it feeling weird.
And in all that time, we've never been more than an hour or so's journey from each other.
Until now. Because he's a monster who flees the county and abandons his friends.
Let me tell you what's this ungrateful, bearded ginger has done.
There have been a lot of changes in my life over the last year. I won't go into them here, but one part of these has been deciding to move back into London. And when I was deciding exactly where, I realised that this was a chance to be closer to my (so-called) best friend.
Of course, there were other factors, but eventually, I chose a place where I'd only be a few tube stops from where Andy lived. It would be the closed I had lived to my (so-called) best friend since university. During Lockdown, of course, I hadn't seen him much at all. But now we'd literally be able to just pop over and hang out when we felt like it.
And then - while cackling like a Disney villain - my (so-called) best friend informs me he's fleeing the city.
And where, exactly, have he and his "family" decided to flee to?
Scotland.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what true betrayal looks like.
You see, Andy lives in a weird, unnatural home. We should have known that his moving to East London was dangerous. And then, before long, he had fallen in with Quakers, Irishmen, witches, and children. The Quaker and the Irishman lured him into their home, I assume with candy and lollypops. The witch seduced him with her wild ways and crazy eyes. The children, I will admit, played very little part in his decision. They were just kind of there. But I'm told he's grown quite fond of them, so they are not free of guilt. These toddlers played their part in this great betrayal!
And now this "family unit" has decided to flee the city together. To escape the entire country, in fact, and living in Scotland!
And isn't it all a little coincidental that it's happening the month before I move back to the city? They talk about "getting out of the city", or "having more space", and "better for the children". But tell me, do those sound like the sort of things people would want to leave London for?
He's even told me - with a straight face, no less - that he was looking forward to it.
Can you even imagine the cold, heartless cruelty? The dark, twisted brutality of your supposed best friend telling you how excited they are to get away from me?
And you know what? They’ve even begun a blog detailing their journey. So I get regular updates rubbing their diabolical plan. If you’re interested in seeing the betrayal with your own eye, you can find it here.
This man is an inhuman monster, and the world needs to be aware of the depths he will stoop to.
Now, some people have been throwing around words like "making this all about you", "overdramatic", or "blowing this whole thing out of proportion". But I ask you, how else am I suppose to react to such cruel abandonment?
Am I suppose to be excited for my friend beginning this new chapter of their life? Am I supposed to be happy to see this example of how a non-traditional family unit can stay together? Oh, you think that getting out of the city was the best decision for their children and the family's mental health as a whole? I guess you'd be excited about the fact the London to Edinburgh journey is a relatively one, and this will be a wonderful excuse to get to visit Scotland?
Maybe you're the kind of person who thinks I should be happy for my (so-called) best friend, excited to hear how their adventure goes and knows that he isn't actually that far away in the grand scheme of things.
But I'm not. I see the truth.
Look into these eyes, and know the face of evil.
