Gather around, all ye folks, and I shall recount to you a tale. An epic story of man’s battle with the darker side of nature. A battle in which a mighty hunter and his fierce animal companion fought one of the most dangerous and terror-inspiring creatures that has ever roamed this earth!
It began in the early hours of the day. Our hero was lounging at rest after a full and hearty breakfast. His companion, a mighty black panther, prowled restlessly nearby. Suddenly the calm of the morning was broken by a scream, shrill and high. A fair maiden was in peril!
Instantly they were alert, charging upstairs towards the sound. It took but seconds before they had come upon the scene. What terror they beheld! What devastation! What horror! For the maiden was indeed in greatest peril! Somehow the guards and barriers of civilisation had fallen, and a thing of death had forced its way into these hallowed grounds. A thing of shadow. The ancient fears of night made flesh. An evil so great that brave men and women have been known to collapse helpless in terror at the mere sight of such a beast.
A house spider!
Several feet high it stood. Venom dripped from jagged mandibles. The blood of fallen prey smeared its features. Truly, this was a thing of nightmare!
Without thought, our hero and his companion threw themselves into the fray. The cat, mightiest of its kind, was upon it in a heartbeat. Her heavy paws crashed down onto hardened carapace. Her claws raked down thick, hairy flesh. Her yowls echoed across the lands so that none for miles around would not know battle was joined!
The creature of shadow and terror fell back at this onslaught. Never could it have faced such a foe before. Long, branchlike legs skittered backwards, its jaws clashing together in a futile attempt to fend off its attacker. Ichor dripped from the many wounds it had taken. Yet still it stood a most fearsome horror.
And in this time our hero set his plan. For skill in battle was not his only weapon, but a mind so cunning it could only have been forged by the gods themselves. As his companion distracted the spider, he set his trap. A drinking glass, carefully placed in such a way to ensnare the creature.
As the spider made its final attempt to turn and run our hero found himself face to face with a creature spawned from hell itself. His features were reflected in hundreds and black eyes, and in those eyes he saw destruction and he saw death.
But before the hellspawn could pounce, our hero grasped hold of it and with mighty arms flung it into the waiting trap! Down it came, that thick glass dome. The battle was over. The creature overcome.
As our hero reassured the fair damsel of her safety his animal companion stalked the glass, beating at the sides to taunt their fallen foe. Now the time had come for our hero to set about disposing of the beast. Using his vast powers he opened a great portal: the bedroom window. Then, as the winds buffeted and blew about him, he flung the creature’s dark and midnight form into the void beyond!
His lands, once again, were safe.
Here ends my epic tale of heroism. Rarely are such tales told.
(While this story actually happened, some details may have been embellished for dramatic effect)